


i need things to live (and those things are all of you)

by noonegoodquality



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: 20 percent having feelings about friendships, 90 percent references to canon, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Gen, Humor, POV Multiple, POV Outsider, Spoilers up to episode 99, Team as Family, mostly - Freeform, this is 80 percent teen shenanigans, what is a fic but a miserable pile of scenes?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23734843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noonegoodquality/pseuds/noonegoodquality
Summary: Jester and the others are showing Caliana around their new school. It’s morbidly fascinating, like listening to Molly tell a story. They’ve only been here a couple of months, but they’ve already done so much.“And that’s the tree Beau and Nott raced to the top of that one time.” Jester says, pointing to a very tall and old looking tree. “Beau pushed Nott out after she won. But it was fine ‘cos Nott just cast feather fall.”“Oh yeah.” Beau says. “That was great. We should do it again some time.”A high school au in the form of mostly unconnected scenes. High in chaos and friendship.
Relationships: The Mighty Nein & Other(s), The Mighty Nein & The Mighty Nein
Comments: 13
Kudos: 75





	1. here is the root of the root

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't my most polished writing, but I had so much fun writing and editing it. So I hope you enjoy.  
> Because this uses my own high school experience as very vague reference it a) is slightly Australian because Wildemount is fictional so I don't have to make everything American and b) contains very few actual relationships because why put yourself out there when you could just be vaguely aware that some people are pretty and you like them a lot? So there's a whole lot of slight hints of conflicting ships, most of which were unintentional and some of which are slightly cursed.  
> I've mostly finished writing this so I'm planing on updating once or twice a week depending on how much time I have.  
> Title is from Taliesin's infamous life needs things to live, and chapter titles are from E. E. Cumming's [i carry your heart with me(i carry it in].

“A book club?” Essek says when Caleb asks him. “I thought book club was Thursday lunch time. Not after school.”

Caleb flushes. “It is.” He says. “However, due to… an escalating series of events, we are no longer allowed back. So. We hold our own.”

Essek badly wants to ask, but Caleb looks extremely embarrassed and given how reserved Caleb tends to be outside of more academic subjects of discussion, Essek doesn’t want to discourage him. Essek doesn’t have too many friends and, as _colourful_ as Caleb and his friends tend to be, Essek does rather like them. He’ll ask someone chattier for the story later.

“I’d love to.” He says. “Unfortunately, it’s at the same time as when I tutor, so I can’t.”

It’s hard not to be a bit pleased about the flash of disappointment on Caleb’s face.

Cassandra Clay looks up from her laptop when her next appointment knocks on the door.

“Come in.” She calls, as she saves the email she was working on.

“Hello!” A familiar voice booms.

Jester Lavorre enters her office. Cassandra smiles, closing her laptop. “It’s nice to see you Jester. Was this visit one you asked for, or did someone else?”

Jester sits down in the empty chair and huffs.

“My stupid biology teacher thinks I’m in a cult.” She says as she takes out a pen and pulls Cassandra’s tissue box over to begin doodling on it. “I told him that you’d already given me the all clear like, a hundred times but he wouldn’t stop making a fuss about it. It’s not like I even played any big pranks on him,” she pauses. “Well nothing _huge_ anyway.”

“Would you like to talk about it? We have this time anyway, so we can use it however you want.” Cassandra says.

“Nah it’s fine.” Jester says. “I’m missing bio to be here anyway so I don’t really care. I’ve got a couple of things I wanted to ask you though, about that article on self-worth you gave me.”

Toya is playing go fish with Yasha and her friend Kiri in the living room. Molly’s making snacks for them in the kitchen. If Toya listens, she can hear him opening and shutting cupboards as he sings along to the music he has playing on Yasha's phone, because his phone’s speakers haven't worked since he dropped it in a puddle a few weeks ago.

"Do you have the seven of spades?" Yasha asks Kiri.

Kiri shakes her head. "Go fish." She says in Toya’s voice. It’s pretty cool.

It's Toya's go next, and she's about to ask Kiri if she has the king of diamonds when Molly sticks his head into the room.

"Yash, Beau's ringing." He says.

"Could you answer it please?" Yasha asks.

Molly walks back out into the hallway, but there's no door to close, so they can still hear him as he picks up the phone.

"Hello unple-" he stops, cutting himself off. He's quiet for a long moment. "She's in the other room. Do you want me to put her on?"

Molly doesn't say anything expect various noises of agreement and disagreement for a minute or so.

"Are you okay?" He says eventually. Toya can't see him but his voice is the kind of deliberately calm it goes when something's gone wrong. "Well fuck you too then. Are you okay?" After another pause Molly says "Where are you now? I'll come meet you there... It's fine, I don't mind... Well do you want to be alone?... Really?... Come have dinner here. Dairon's away at that conference, right?... Yeah. If you don't want to eat with half a dozen people, we can go get takeaway somewhere... No, you stay there... Fine. Meet me at the train station then... I'll see you in like 20 minutes." There's the beep of a call being hung up and the hallway's quiet for a minute, apart from the sound of Molly's breaths.

He comes back into the living room and blinks when he sees them all already staring at him.

"Beau ran into her father when she was out." He says looking at Yasha, before glancing at Toya and Kiri. "Some unpleasant words were exchanged. I'm going to go meet her in the city."

"Should I come?" Yasha asks.

Molly shakes his head. "You stay here. Kiri's parents will be by to pick her up soon and Bo's still out with his friends. Someone has to stay with Toya."

"Alright."

"Don't worry. I'll make sure she's okay."

"I know." Yasha says, smiling gently. "Do you want me to let Desmond and Gustav know she'll be here for dinner?" Yasha asks.

"Do. They texted about 20 minutes ago to say that the competition was done and they were headed back with the twins. They should be back in half an hour or so."

With that, Molly runs upstairs. He comes tumbling back a few minutes later with his phone, wallet and shoes. He kisses Yasha and Toya on the forehead and ruffles the top of Kiri's head, making he feathers stick up at odd angles.

Kiri squawks and says "Go fuck yourself." In Jester's voice.

"Goodbye you menaces." Molly tells them as he heads towards the door. "You'd better be good for Yasha, she's an even bigger menace than you."

"Yes, I'm very sweet." Kiri calls after him, before collapsing in laughter that sounds like it belongs to a boy her age.

“Your smutty book club.” Essek repeats deadpan. Wondering whether this is a different book club or if Caleb left some key details out of his pitch.

Jester tells him when it’s on. It’s not a different book club.

“Sorry,” Essek says. “I’m not available then.”

“Oh, I’m sure we could change the time.” Jester tells him. “Or well, maybe we could. The swimming season’s started again so Fjord’s getting busier. And Beau and Caleb both have their shifts at the library. Plus, Molly and Yasha have to be home to –”

“Don’t worry about it.” Essek says. “Thanks anyway.”

Jester and the others are showing Caliana around their new school. It’s morbidly fascinating, like listening to Molly tell a story. They’ve only been here a couple of months, but they’ve already done so much.

“And that’s the tree Beau and Nott raced to the top of that one time.” Jester says, pointing to a very tall and old looking tree. “Beau pushed Nott out after she won. But it was fine ‘cos Nott just cast feather fall.”

“Oh yeah.” Beau says. “That was great. We should do it again some time.”

Nott nods. “It was a good, fair fight.”

“She pushed you out of a tree.” Caliana points out.

Nott shrugs. “I shot her first.”

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t actually a real gun.” Yasha says, which doesn't make Caliana much less worried.

Jester points at a bench. “Oh! That’s where Caleb accidentally punched himself in the face. If you look carefully you can still see the blood stain from his nose bleed. Come on”

“I’m here.” Nott says, her breaths uneven from running halfway across the school. “I saw your SOS message. What’s wrong?”

Jester is sitting on the ground, her back against the bike shed wall her feet stretching out to press against the fence. “Caduceus just told me we’re practising CPR in health class.” She says, her emphasis on the words suggesting a dire fate.

“Okay…?” Nott says in response, not quite sure why this is such a drastic situation.

“So, we’re gonna have to practice on each other.” Jester says, flopping back against the wall. “Health class is next period Nott. I didn’t know what we were doing so I’m not, like, at all ready. It’ll be my first kiss!” As she speaks, she works herself up more and more.

Nott moves so she’s sitting next to Jester, their sides bumping. “Well is that good or bad.” She says.

“I don’t know.” Jester cries. “I guess it depends who I’m paired with? It’s bad because I want my first kiss to be special. Not just doing some stupid exercise in class. But I really want to have kissed someone already. And then I’ll know what it’s like and be ready to do it really well when someone I really like kisses me.” She sighs in exasperation. “I’m not sure, I haven’t had the time to think about it and class is starting in-” she checks her phone “six minutes!”

Nott rubs Jester’s back soothingly, trying to figure out what to say. Before she’s gathered her thoughts though, Caduceus’ head appears from around the corner of the bike shed.

“There you are.” He says “Is everything alright? You ran off while I was talking.”

“Jessie’s just a bit worried about practising CPR.” Nott tells him.

“Well, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” He says after a moment. “We really just revised what we’ve already learned in the lesson you missed, so I don’t think you’ll be behind. And Shakäste promised that the CPR dummies have all been properly disinfected, so it's perfectly hygienic.”

There’s a beat of silence. Jester and Nott look at each other. “The dummies.” Jester echoes.

“Yeah.” Caduceus says. “Is everything alright? We should probably go get our books. The bell will be going soon.”

"Why do we have to look at dresses?" Beau groans.

They're looking for clothes in an op shop. Jester already has a pile of things she wants to try on, and Molly's browsing at a more sedate pace, he's looking for something pretty or something _awful_. Beau's standing next to him, leaning back against a display table with her arms crossed.

"Because Caleb's going to be looking at scrolls at Pumat's for a good hour yet. There's plenty of non-dress clothes here. And if you're really that bored, you’re welcome to go find something else to do." He pulls a blue singlet off the rack, "what do you think?"

"For me or you?"

"You. _I'm_ not allergic to sleeves." Molly hands it too her and she begrudgingly considers it. It’s pretty obvious she's trying to pretend she hates it just on principle.

Jester walks back to them holding a yellow dress. “Hey Beau, what do you think of this?”

Beau makes a face, “sorry Jes, I’m not really that into yellow.”

Jester’s smile falls, and she lowers the dress. “Oh. Alright then.”

Beau looks back to the shirt Molly offered her and Jester wanders off looking dejected. Molly considers finding a rolled-up newspaper to hit Beau with.

He just shoves at her instead.

“What was that for?” She demands, shoving him back.

“What do you think? What the fuck was that?”

Beau looks confused and the urge to strangle her in frustration increases. “I don’t like wearing yellow. Are you really -?” She pauses, she’s turned to look at Jester. “I didn’t mean on her! I thought she wanted me to wear it.”

“Why would you think that?” Molly asks.

“I don’t know. You’d just handed me something you thought I’d like.” Beau looks concerned now. Which it is good, because it means Molly doesn’t have to pray to the Traveler for help murdering her because she’s an asshole. “Do you think she looks upset? Fuck.”

“Obviously.” Molly says. “Go tell her you’re sorry.”

He watches them talking for a moment, watching Beau awkwardly apologise, before going back to looking through clothes for anything shiny or garish.

By the time Caleb and Nott catch up with them, Beau is the proud owner of a blue singlet, and Molly has a couple of new things stuffed into his bag. Jester has even more, including her new dress.

Nott tells Essek he should ask Caleb about the book they’re reading for book club. Given what Jester told him, he has absolutely no intention of doing so.

In fact, he has almost entirely forgotten her suggestion the next day when he’s eating lunch with Caleb, Caduceus, and Nott. Which is probably why she chooses that moment to strike.

“Hey Caleb, you should tell Essek about the book we’re reading.” He looks up at her in terror, she’s looking right into her eyes, as if to communicate that she is doing this to him on purpose. He considers fleeing the school, and then possibly the country.

However, it backfires.

Caleb perks up, smiles, and says “You mean the one from transmutation class?”

Essek, Caleb, and Nott spend the rest of lunch discussing what Caleb and Nott are learning in transmutation. They all get very into it, but Essek thinks Nott looks a bit annoyed at the beginning of the conversation when her plan's accidentally thwarted.

Meanwhile, Caduceus has what Essek is pretty sure is a one-sided conversation with some bugs that climbs out of his bag to eat the crumbs he leaves for them.

At first Yasha thinks she’s the only one who is caught unawares by what Nott just said, but the surprised silence suggests that none of her friends knew. Except perhaps Caleb, who hasn’t looked up from his book. Though it’s also possible he hasn’t heard a word of what they’ve been saying.

Eventually, Nott cottons on to the fact that everyone is staring at her is shook.

“Didn’t I tell you I have a boyfriend?” Nott says. “I thought you knew. I must’ve mentioned it before.”

Caduceus hums in consideration. “I don’t think so. Though I suppose you might have told someone else when I wasn’t there. Or I could have forgotten you telling me.”

“No. You definitely haven’t.” Fjord says, he’s spluttering and Yasha’s pretty sure there’s a slight blush on his cheeks.

“Well.” Nott says. There’s a distinct air of awkwardness, everyone’s abandoned their lunches in favour of staring at Nott. Then everyone starts talking at once and pandemonium erupts.

“I told Caleb.” Nott yells over the others, a little desperately. “Didn’t I Caleb? You’ve met Yeza. You must know.”

“Of course I do.” Says Caleb, who’s finally looked up from his book. “I thought everyone knew.”

“See!” Nott yells in triumph.

Before everyone can start talking over each other again, Beau shushes everyone.

“Let her fucking talk, guys.” She says.

Now that everyone is looking at her, Nott’s starting to look anxious. Caleb closes his book and puts a hand on her shoulder in support. She smiles at him for a second before she begins.

“Before I went to the school I met you guys at, I went to Felderwin. I didn’t have many friends, or any really, apart from Yeza.” Nott looks down at her hands fidgeting. “We didn’t really know each other, even though we’d been going to the same schools for years. I got invited to a party and he was there too. We played truth or dare and someone dared him to kiss me.” She talks for a bit longer explaining how they’d become friends, before she’d finally asked him out.

“Then after that prank turned me into this.” Nott gestures to her goblinoid form then pauses. “You do remember me telling you about that right?” She’s been sarcastic now. They all nod and mumble agreement so she continues. “Anyway, I didn’t end up finishing the year and I started at Zedash with you guys the year after.”

After Nott’s finished Beau clears her throat. “So, he’s not a dick, is he? Because I can totally do a shovel talk. I’d be great at it”

“No! he isn’t. He’s- He’s good. He’s great.” She says, indignantly.

“Tell us about him.” Jester demands.

“Well he’s very smart and handsome.” Nott says, she’s grinning, looking so proud. Yasha feels a pang in chest, remembering when she’d looked like that. “He’s graduating this year and he’s going to double major in chemistry and alchemy.”

“Oh great, another nerd.” Beau says, groaning.

“I don’t see why you’re complaining.” Molly says. “Everyone knows you’re a nerd under all that posturing.”

“Fuck off”

“Fuck you.”

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

“So would I.”

“How come we aren’t sitting with the others?” Keg asks Beau over their lunches.

Beau shrugs, not looking up from shovelling cold pasta into her mouth. “They’ve all got stuff on,” she says. “Fjord, Nott and Molly have detention. I don’t know what for, something that happened in their chemistry class, but none of them will say what.”

“I think Cali said Keona wasn’t at school today. Isn’t she their chem teacher?” Keg says, “Do you think it was them?”

Beau pauses for a second, contemplating. After a moment’s thought she shrugs again. “I mean, maybe. But there’s a cold going around. And I think we would have heard about anything that dramatic happening.”

They take a minute to consider this.

“Anyway,” Beau says, “Caduceus has a counselling appointment with what’s-his-face, not Cassandra, the other one. And Jester’s in art club. I told her we’d meet her in there once we’d eaten.”

“What about Caleb and Yasha though?” She says, gesturing to where Caleb and Yasha are sitting across the courtyard.

They’re against the opposite wall, in the shadow of the building. Both are almost entirely still, and they aren’t saying a thing to one another. Caleb has a thick book in his lap, thoroughly engrossed in it. Yasha is lying on her back flicking through her phone with one hand while she pats Caleb’s cat where he’s curled up on her chest.

“Oh yeah.” Beau says. “They’re doing their ‘I want quiet and a lack of socialisation right now, but you understand me perfectly about that so let’s sit together in silence’ thing. We’re usually too loud to sit with them. Sometimes I do, but only when I want to meditate.”

“Are they all right?” Keg asks.

“Oh yeah, no. They do this once or twice a week. They just need a rest.” Beau tells her.

“Cool.” Keg says “What’s Jester doing in art club right now?”

“I think she’s making a sculpture of the Traveler or something.” Beau replies. “It’s just wires and hot glue right now, but she and Yasha went looking through op shops for fake flowers on the weekend so now she has two garbage bags full of plastic flowers she’s going to attach after she’s finished the frame.”

“Sounds cool,” Keg chucks her apple core into a nearby bin and stands up. “Alright. Let’s go find her.”

Beau’s been complaining to Essek and Fjord about having to read terrible, unrealistic straight sex for the last eight minutes when she turns to Essek and tells him he’s welcome to join their reading group. She’s got a terrifying smile pasted on her face and Fjord is giving her an unsubtle thumbs up, which means this is probably part of her efforts to get better at interacting with people.

“No thank you.” He says, feeling like he would prefer to be anywhere else right now.

Beau tells him he’s not missing much and then awkwardly offers to lend him the previous book they’d read because she thinks he’d like it.

Essek isn’t sure which of the three of them is the most traumatised by the conversation. He feels like it’s probably him though.


	2. for beautiful you are my world,my true

_Mighty Nope_

**Fiona Fancypants**  
we may have accidently stolen a boat

 **Broregard  
**itreally was an accident

 **Frumpkin 4 President**  
remember the rules.  
don’t mention crimes you may have allegedly committed in texts, it counts as evidence

 **Fiona Fancypants**  
nvm then

“You know, your parent’s pretty cool,” Keg says while they’re changing into their P.E. uniforms.

Beau finishes shrugging on her top and turns to stare at Keg. “What.” She says in a flat voice.

“I mean your guardian? Or mum? I can’t remember their name.”

“Oh, you mean Dairon,” Beau’s shoulders relax. “Yeah, they are pretty cool. They aren’t my legal guardian though.”

“I thought you were adopted,” Keg says.

“Nah. I’m emancipated. I met Dairon working at the library. When they found out what a shithole I was living in, they let me move into their spare room.”

“Oh, nice.”

“Yeah.” Beau pauses, eyeing Keg. “They’re too old for you man.”

“Shut up,” Keg squawks, shoving Beau and wishing her stubble was thick enough to cover her blush.

Driving two incredibly tense teenagers across the city in rush hour traffic isn’t Cassandra’s ideal Friday evening, but she’s had worse. When Caduceus came in from the garden to tell her that one of his friends had called looking for someone with a driver’s licence, he'd seemed fairly calm. But now, one stop and 20 minutes into the trip the anxiety is palpable. Mollymauk, the friend who called Caduceus, is sitting in the back seat. His tail is flicking against his calf rapidly and he’s holding onto his phone with a white knuckled grip, like he’s afraid he’ll miss a text.

In the front Caduceus is as still as ever, but he’s messing with one of his earrings, twirling the small symbol round and round. She can’t tell if he’s praying or just fiddling with it.

Cassandra didn’t quite run away from her family to live in the big city. She still travels back for family gatherings, and keep in contact with her immediate family. But she certainly hadn’t been expecting it at all when she’d gotten a call asking her if she could act as a temporary guardian for one of her second cousins. And even when she’d accepted, she hadn’t imagined anything quite like this.

“Have they moved?” She asks as the traffic inches slowly forward.

“I don’t think so” Molly says, without looking up from his phone screen.

Cassandra starts indicating as they approach her exit. Another couple of minutes and they’re all scanning the footpaths looking for the two young women.

“There they are,” Caduceus says. Up ahead where he’s pointing, two teenagers stand huddled together. The larger has a blue scarf wrapped around her shoulders that Cassandra recognises as something Beau has worn to her sessions with Cassandra. One of Beauregard’s arms is wrapped around Yasha’s back.

She double parks to let them climb into the back seat with Molly. Cassandra glances back before she pulls the car back into traffic. Yasha climbs in first, her face blanker than Cassandra's ever seen it. Every muscle in her frame is tense. The make up around her eyes is thoroughly smudged. Immediately Mollymauk starts fussing over her. Beau’s knuckles are bloody and a stark bruise is already forming along her cheek bone.

“Could you take a look at Beau, please, Caduceus?” She says.

Caduceus twist around awkwardly in his seat to reach into the back and heal her scrapes.

Eventually the murmurs of comfort fade into a soft silence and Cassandra clears her throat. “Have you called one of your foster fathers yet?” She says.

“Yeah. I got through to Gustav,” Molly says, from where his head is resting on Yasha’s shoulder. “He’s going to call Obann’s parole officer. Fucker’s not even supposed to been in the same city as Yasha.”

He lifts his head to look at Yasha. “He said Toya’s appointment was nearly done, so they should be on their way back now. We can go home and crash, or we can go to Caduceus’. The others want to see you once you’re up for it.”

Yasha looks up to meet Cassandra’s eyes in the rear-view mirror. “Do you mind?” She asks. Cassandra smiles and shakes her head. “Then Caduceus’ house please. I don’t think I want to be alone right now.”

Beau squeezes Yasha’s hand, and Molly’s free hand reaches up to stroke her hair.

“I’ll let the group chat know,” he says, unlocking his phone again.

"Bullshit."

"Uh huh," Jester says, rummaging through her bag for a lollipop.

"No way did Essek fucking Thelyss get in your mum's hot tub," Molly says. They've just sat down at their desks and now they're waiting for the first bell to ring.

"He did! I told you, he was way less snooty than he usually is at school."

"Was he drunk?"

"Nah. I told Beau not to bring anything. Cause of Nott, you know?" Jester says, lowering her voice. "Besides, I think he's just shy."

Molly hums sceptically as he pulls out a pen.

"I don't think he many friends. Technically he should be like, a year below us, not ahead. He's just super fucking smart. But he seems really lonely." She waves her lollipop in punctuation to her point.

Molly thinks about it.

"Well I’ll have to take your word for it. I wish I'd come."

"Don't be too sorry," Jester says, "Caduceus brought his flute."

Molly cackles. "Sounds like a real party. The Moonweaver's Ribbons were amazing though. I'm glad I got Desmond to take me."

"I bet," Jester says, leaning towards Molly. "Did you take pictures?"

"Hundreds. Want to see?"

“Left, left!” Desmond says.

“Sorry!” Fjord says. They all jerk forward as Fjord brakes before he shoots past the corner. Then they’re jostled again as he accelerates to speed up again once he's turned. “I didn’t see it.”

“Don’t worry, just focus on the road.”

“I thought you’d been practising,” Molly complains.

“I have been. I’m just rusty right now,” Fjord says, sounding petulant. “Vandren was busy this week, so I couldn’t practice.”

“You’re wandering towards the middle, just straighten up a bit.” Desmond says.

“Don’t listen to Molly. He was so bad when he started that Gustav won’t supervise with him anymore. Desmond has to do it,” Yasha tells Fjord.

Molly says gamely, “Yeah, that’s true.”

“Quiet in the back. Let the driver focus,” Desmond tells them.

“It’s fine. This is fine,” Fjord mutters under his breath, eyes straight ahead.

“You’re doing well. And you’re still learning. Don’t be hard on yourself, just focus on what you’re doing.”

_Mighty Nope_

**Snea Snake**  
I mean THEY weredefinitely doing something illegal so does it really count?

 **Frumpkin 4 President**  
Yes.

Essek is studying in the library, with three different books open on the table in front of him, and several more stacked in a pile next to them. He’s not actually in the library proper, the essay he’s working on is important and he wanted to be sure he could concentrate, so, he’d reserved one of the study rooms off to the side of the library.

He’s just debating getting some fresh air and a snack when the door opens.

Caleb shuts the door behind himself as soon as he’s inside. He presses himself against the door. He leans against it for a moment, eyes closed as he takes deep breaths.

Essek considers going back to his work and letting Caleb sort himself out. Essek hasn’t spoken to Caleb today, but unsurprisingly he looks stressed. Often when he’s overwhelmed like this it’s best to give him space. So long as Essek checks every now and then to make sure he hasn’t nose-dived into a self-berating spiral, he’ll be fine.

However, just as Essek looks back to his page, Caleb speaks up. “I’m sorry to interrupt,” he says, eyes on the ground. “I was looking for somewhere to hide.”

“It’s fine. I really don’t mind,” Essek says, because it looks like Caleb is having the sort of day where he feels guilty just taking up space in a room.

He’s taller than Essek, but right now he’s hunched in on himself, small and desperately scared in a way that makes Essek’s chest _ache_. He’s not looking up from the floor, and he’s got the edges of his sleeves gripped in his fingers, hiding from view the scars that Essek knows cover his arms.

So Essek asks; “Are you hiding from the librarians again? Because I’m happy to be an accessory to your crimes, but I would like to know what I’m getting into.”

“Nein. They have lifted the ban. I just wanted quiet. My friends are – well meaning, but they can be very noisy.”

Essek raises his eyebrow and speaks, “I can’t deny it. But it doesn’t follow that you have to hide from them. I know they don’t mind giving you space when you want it.”

“Ja. I know,” Caleb’s shoulders hunch even more, as though he’s trying to fold into himself. “But it is… difficult to ask for things sometimes.”

“If you want to stay, please do. I’m just going to be working, but I’d appreciate the company.” Essek tells him softly.

Caleb smiles at Essek, a tired brittle thing, but some small measure of the tension in his frame leaves as he steps over Essek’s crutches to go sit in the back corner with his own book, relaxing a bit more once Essek moves his attention back to his own work. Before he does, Essek texts Nott, letting her know Caleb is hiding out in the library. Then he turns back to his essay.

“-Obviously I’m going to sneak dicks into my designs. What sort of person do you take me for?” Molly is telling Jester, the two of them hunched over a dozen pieces of paper strewn across the table, a bag of grapes lying forgotten about.

They’re sitting in the park near their school, where they agreed to meet Calianna and they’ve claimed a picnic table for their work.

“Oh, oh, I know!” Jester yelps, “You should do a tower that’s crumbling on one side, but still being built on the other.”

“Oh, nice. Where’s the page with the lists?” Molly says, shuffling everything around as he looks for it. “I think you had it last.”

Now that Calianna’s close enough, she can see that the papers scattered over the table are covered in drawings, from rushed scribbles and vague outlines of shapes labelled things like ‘person’ and ‘storm’, to gorgeously elaborate sketches that've been abandoned part way through.

“Ah-ha!” Molly crows in triumph, snatching a piece of paper off the table and waving it about in the air. The paper has writing on it, but Calianna can’t make out what it says with Molly waving it about.

“Hi guys. Sorry I’m late, my English teacher kept the whole class back for like ten minutes so I missed the early bus,” she says. “How long until Fjord’s done?” She moves Jester’s bag further along the bench to sit next to her.

“Cali!” Jester says, holding her arms out for a hug, which Calianna happily accepts as Molly says hello. “His swimming practice finishes at four thirty, and the spa appointment’s not till quarter past five, so we should have plenty of time. How are you?”

“Good, good. You?”

“Wonderful,” Molly drawls.

“So. Good.” Jester says. “We just had studio art last period. We’re working on our final pieces, and we thought since we have to wait for Fjord before we can go, we might as well keep brainstorming for Molly’s project. Has he told you about it?”

“No,” Calianna says, “I don’t think I’ve heard about it.”

Molly smiles and leans forward eagerly, his tail swishing behind his seat. “I’m making a set of oracle cards. They’re going to be largely based around the Moonweaver and her iconography, but I’m drawing inspiration from all sorts of things.”

“He said I could even help him design a card for the Traveler. I have so many ideas.” Jester looks so excited, and it makes Calianna’s heart swell up with a feeling too full and big to describe.

“Oh, that’s so cool. How are you making them? Just drawings, or…?” Calianna says. It sounds like such a fun project, and she’s extremely jealous that their school offers art.

Molly shakes his head. “Mixed media. For the backs, I reckon I’ll draw it and then touch it up on the computer and print it on fancy paper.” He pulls a page out from underneath a couple of others that seem to be mostly devoted to lewd drawings. The one he grabs has several boxes drawn on it, filled with what must be possible designs for the back of the cards. Most of the designs have the moons featured on them somewhere, though some lean away from illustration and more towards fancy lettering or abstract patterns. “And for the images I’m going to use ink, paint, probably some watercolour. Pencil too. Oh, and I really want to incorporate collage too.” He grins. “It’s going to be such a hideous mishmash.”

Molly pulls another piece of paper towards them. This one with three lists on it, labelled ‘concepts for cards’, ‘imagery to include’ and ‘potential references/inspiration’. There are arrows scribbled all over it linking ideas to each other, little half formed doodles of concepts, and notes on how particular illustrations might be composed or what they could be made with; labels like ‘gold leaf?’ and ‘charcoal or oil pastel’. He keeps talking, explaining ideas he has for various cards with Jester interjecting to expand upon the ideas she thinks are the coolest.

“Have you thought about doing anything based on that illusion of the fish turning into birds? Maybe you could make it dragons turning into clouds,” Calianna suggests when Molly asks her if she has any ideas. “Or what about something with masks?” She scans the list. “Who suggested a person drowning in flowers?”

“Yasha, it’s metal as fuck. Right?”

“Oh, totally. She’s so cool.”

_Mighty Nope_

**nott again**  
@Snea Snake now I’m curious, what where they doing that was illegal?

 **Fiona Fancypants  
**I mean if you think about it, doing crimes on a boat basically makes you a pirate  
so technically, if we had stolen it, we would have stolen a pirate ship  
and I don’t think that’s illegal

 **Broregard**  
hypothetically.

 **Snea Snake  
**@nott again - they were fishing somewhere you aren’t allowed to fish

 **_Tie-leaf-ling_ ** _and **nott again** are typing…_

“But why are you all in here?” Yussa asks the room.

“Caleb was sick last yesterday, so he needs to know what he missed last lesson,” Yasha says. Her arms are crossed over her chest. “He just told you that.”

“But why are the rest of you here? None of you are even in my class.” Yussa asks again, looking at the eight teenagers crammed into his small office.

“Emotional support.” Beauregard Lionett says, she has her arms crossed too.

They are indeed all clustered around Caleb. Apart from Yasha and Beauregard, who look for all the world like very angry bodyguards, they seem calm, but Nott is holding Caleb’s hand.

Honestly? He believes them. Caleb looks a lot calmer than he usually does in class. When he isn’t distracted by his work (and especially when he has to talk to Yussa one on one), he carries a tension with him that he isn’t right now. Though he does look somewhat embarrassed.

“Alright then,” He says, turning back to his desk to dig up the work he handed out yesterday.

There are many things that call for the Traveler’s attention. Though in reality his followers are not so great in numbers, they definitely feel like they are, with the way they all press upon his mind, asking for attention. And beyond them, there are many … circumstances which are in his name in spirit, if not in actuality. An unforeseen consequence of becoming something close to a god.

Other things he had not expected: that it would grow so much out of his control; and that he would care for each and every one of the people who learned to call to him in the right way. Right now though, there is nowhere he needs to be more than here.

His first follower, his most beloved devotee, is sitting on a bench by a playground. The park borders the forest she just left, and it’s virtually abandoned, because it’s the middle of the night. Not entirely abandoned though, because Jester’s loud and delightful friends are all crowded around her.

“I can’t believe you did that. Holy fuck you’re so awesome,” Beau says. "Like literally, awe-inspiring."

"A blueberry cupcake," Molly says in disbelief.

“I can’t believe I did that either,” Jester sounds surprised, and pleased, and pretty scared. Invisible and incorporeal, Artagan runs a hand over her hair soothingly, and Jester smiles when she feels him in the breeze. Another gust of wind has her shivering and she glances back at the trees nervously. “Are you sure we should stay here? What if she comes after us?”

“We’ll go once we can, but the bus won’t be here for 14 minutes,” Caleb tells her. "And Essek isn't picking up because it's the middle of the night."

“Will that really do much though?” Fjord says. “It kind of seems like if she figures it out, she’s going to be able to find us. She seemed really powerful. Sorry, Jess,” he adds, when she winces. The Traveler flicks his nose, and Fjord bats at his face, trying to swat an imaginary bug.

“Maybe you should go into witness protection.” Beau says. “Caleb, you know the most about that stuff. Will that help?”

Caleb makes a so-so gesture with his hand. “Probably not. One of these might, though.” He fishes out his necklace to show them. “We can probably order one from Pumat.”

“What about until then though?” Nott asks. She was crying earlier, and never bothered to rub the tear tracks off her face. “We’ve got to hide her somehow.”

“What about disguise self? I used to use that all the time,” Fjord says.

Within seconds, they’ve all forgotten how sure they just were that they’re in mortal danger. Artagan loves Jester’s friends, there’s always so much chaos when they hang out.

“We could make you look like you but less blue,” Nott says. “Like an elf or a human or something.”

“I could pretend to be Molly,” Jester says, gleefully.

“Hey, _I’m_ Molly. Who’m I gonna be if you’re me.”

“I could be your identical twin brother. Jolly,” Jester offers.

“We could run away and be pirates,” Yasha says. “She’d never think to look for us at sea.”

“Why don’t you fake your death? My aunt would agree to pretend to bury you,” Caduceus says.

“Oh yeah,” Jester says. “It’s gotta be a weird death though. What if I got run over by a runaway donut van? And there’s blood everywhere, but raspberry jam too.”

“We could arrange for a falling piano to squash you. That’s always a classic,” Caleb says.

The Traveler lets the glee and mayhem wash over him as he tunes out. He’s so glad she found these people when she started going to school. Getting Marion to stop home-schooling Jester hadn’t been the intended outcome of the prank that got her noticed by social services, who decided she needed peer socialisation. But once he’d seen the way the cards where falling, he’d whispered in a few ears. Jester was always bigger than her house could contain, and it’s a joy to watch her grow now that she's outside it regularly.

The bus pulls up at last, and they all pile on, Jester in the middle because they’re a bunch of protective idiots. There’s a tug in his chest, he can feel one of his followers praying for guidance on how to enact revenge on a shitty boss. Before he leaves, Artagan taps her on the head as she passes. No silly old hag is going to be finding her before she gets her scrying protection.

He doesn’t think the witch is going to try looking though. Not out of malice anyway. Jester’s work on her had been pure genius, and her pulling it off was the most beautiful thing the Traveler’s seen in a very long time.

She’s growing so powerful and he’s so very proud of her.

_Mighty Nope_

**poison ivy NOT clay face**  
they left me behind when they rowed off  
I had to swim after them

 **Fiona Fancypants  
**we said we were sorry about that : (

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for clarity: nott still got turned into a goblin, in a high school prank that got way out of hand. the hag in the forest is still super powerful. the scene with the Traveler is just after they've lifted the curse.  
> Fiona Fancypants is Jester  
> Broregard is Beau  
> Frumpkin 4 President is Caleb  
> Snea Snake is Fjord  
> nott again is Nott  
> Tie-leaf-ling is Molly  
> poison ivy NOT clay face is Caduceus  
> a thing that didn't quite make it into the fic:  
> Caleb and his parents are in witness protection after the whole thing with Trent. this doesn't come up much because the first rule of being in witness protection is don't talk about witness protection.


	3. (anywhere i go you go,my dear;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been a month! My excuse is that I had 4 essays due last week and another one due this week. Hopefully I'll be back on schedule now. Knock on wood.  
> To clarify, Nott's curse got lifted at the end of the last chapter. From next chapter onwards she goes by Veth, but for now she's still Nott.

“Never have I ever… been expelled,” Calianna says. She’s expecting someone to complain about low hanging fruit, she isn’t expecting every single other person playing to take a penalty.

“Really?” She says. “All of you?”

“Yeah,” says Beau. “How do you think we ended up at Rosohna High? We all got expelled from the Zadash Secondary Collage together.”

“Not all of us did,” Molly cuts in, looking smug.

“Oh, fuck you. The only reason you weren’t expelled is because you were already banned from school property.”

Molly gasps dramatically, and falls back to slump against Nott, who squawks in protest. “You wound me,” he says.

“What happened?” Calianna asks before they can really get going.

“There was a fire in the cafeteria,” Jester says. “It may have, technically, been caused by us.”

“Was anyone hurt?” Calianna asks. “Expelling seven people for property damage seems excessive.”

“I don’t think it was just the arson,” Caduceus says thoughtfully, “Yasha tried to put it out using Nott’s water bottle but it was full of vodka, so that just made it worse. And Nott got in trouble for bringing alcohol to school. Then I used magic to put it out which they didn’t like students doing. And then no one would tell them how it started. And – well anyway, I think in the end they just got sick of dealing with us.”

“Can I ask how it started?” Calianna says.

“You can, but we’re all sworn to secrecy.” Nott tells her. “All you really need to know is that it was Fjord’s fault.”

“It was _not_ ,” he says, voice rising in indignation.

“It doesn’t matter, Fjord. It was a shitty school anyway.” Jester says, her tail flicking out to brush against Fjord’s arm reassuringly. He relaxes, smiling at her.

“I don’t mind,” Yasha says softly, “I like it much better here.” There’s a general mummer of agreement.

“My turn!” Jester says brightly. “Um… never have I ever been arrested.”

Calianna, Beau, Caleb, Nott, and Caduceus all take the penalty.

“Essek!”

Essek turns around at the sound of his name in the busy hallway. He only has to wait for a moment, before a slightly out of breath Jester catches up to him. For some reason she’s holding one hand behind her back.

“Hey. Caleb said it was your birthday today.” she says, smiling brightly.

“It is,” he responds cautiously. “Why?”

She beams at him and pulls something long and narrow and wrapped in brightly coloured paper out from behind her back. “This is for you.”

He accepts it without thinking when she passes it to him, but then he just stares at her.

“Open it, silly,” she tells him.

Blinking himself out of his daze, he unwarps the garish paper. There’s a lacy parasol inside.

“Thank you?” he tries, feeling a little confused.

Then again, he often feels a little confused around Jester and her friends.

Or a lot confused.

“I hope you like it,” Jester says. “I made it especially for you.” Her tone becomes a little more serious. “Last time you hung out with us you said the sun was bothering you. I hope you don’t mind?” She looks worried about overstepping now, and Essek’s having terrible visions of what Beau and Yasha will do to him if he makes her cry. But beyond that, he’s honestly touched.

“It’s lovely, Jester. And very thoughtful. I do have something I usually use to keep the sun off me, I just didn’t have it on me because it was so last minute.” She looks less worried now, but like she’s about to start feeling embarrassed so he presses on. Gods but he’s bad at this. “But it’s a lot more boring than this. Thank you. I mean it.”

“Oh good,” Jester says. “Are you doing something special?”

“What?”

“You know, for your birthday.”

“Oh. No, Not really. It’s a rather busy time of year...” Essek trails off.

“Oh no!” Jester exclaims. “You should come out with us this weekend. We were going to go see a movie.”

“I – sure. That would be nice. What movie?”

Jester looks shifty for a moment. “We haven’t decided yet. I’ll add you to the group chat so you can vote.”

“If you’re going to insist.”

Jester’s gone as quickly as she came and Essek is left feeling as disoriented as he always is in the wake of the whirlwind that is Jester.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out to see that he’s been added to the group chat _MOVIE THIS WEEKEND!_

He scrolls up.

**_Jester created MOVIE THIS WEEKEND!_ **

**_Jester added Nott to the group_ **

**_Jester added Beau to the group_ **

**_Jester added Fjord to the group_ **

**_Jester added Caduceus to the group_ **

**_Jester added Caleb to the group_ **

**_Jester added Molly to the group_ **

**_Jester added Yasha to the group_ **

_Guys!!_

_Essek said he wasn’t doing anything for his birthday so I told him he should come see a movie with us_

**_Jester added Essek to the group_ **

The bell rings, so Essek turns off his phone and puts it back into his pocket. He looks at his new parasol and smiles. This whole ‘having friends’ thing isn’t so bad.

“Never have I ever told a mugger I have syphilis.” Beau says, smirking.

“This is your fault,” Molly hisses to Caleb as they both eat a piece of Beauregard’s pocket bacon of unknown age as their forfeit. “If you had just kept your mouth shut like we agreed they wouldn’t know.”

“I tell Nott everything,” Caleb says. “What did you expect?”

“I only told Jester,” Nott says, a strange mix of guilty and gleeful.

“And Jester told everyone, you little shit.” Molly says.

Jester just cackles. Calianna decides to ask her to explain the story later on.

Jester’s been having a difficult week. Cassandra knows this because Jester emailed her to set up an extra appointment if Cassandra had an empty spot.

She’s just sat down opposite Cassandra, and she’s wearing the same broad, excited smile she almost always has.

“How’ve you been?” Cassandra asks her.

“Pretty good,” Jester says. “What about you? Been up to anything exciting? It’s been a pretty long week huh? No wait I forgot to say hello. Hi Cassandra. Cass. Cass-an-dra. You know you have a really pretty name.”

“Thanks. I chose it myself,” Cassandra says, wry. “I feel like you’re deflecting my question, though. How’s your emotional state been lately?”

“Oh, I’ve been fine,” Jester says, waving her concerns away. Cassandra waits a minute, giving Jester time to change her answer if she wants to. “It’s stupid,” Jester says at last, “It doesn’t really matter.”

“I think it matters, if it’s making you upset,” Cassandra says. “Why don’t you tell me what the problem is and we can start from there?”

“Fine. I guess I’ve been feeling a bit down lately. But whenever someone notices, or I want to talk about it, I just feel really guilty making it some else’s problem,” Jester begins.

“We’re not lost,” Fjord says. “The trail’s right here, we just have to keep following it.”

“I fucking hate the great outdoors,” Beau says from back of the group, where she’s dragging her feet.

“This was supposed to be a ten-minute walk. We’ve been going for an hour. I think we might be a little lost,” Yasha says. Caduceus hums in agreement, but he doesn’t look concerned.

“Fine. Maybe,” Fjord says. “But even if we are, all we have to do is pretend we know where we’re going and they’ll believe us.”

“Who?”

“The trees.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works,” Yasha tells him. She can hear Beau muttering ‘Jesus fucking Christ’ under her breath.

“Makes sense to me.” Caduceus smiles, amused.

“Whatever, man. So long as you don’t start yelling at creeks again,” Beau says.

“Never have I ever lost an arm-wrestling match to Caleb,” Molly says looking directly at Beau.

“Fuck. You.” Beau says, not breaking eye contact as she picks up a piece of Caduceus’ failed cooking project and swallows it without hesitation. “I only lost once. He lost eight times.” Calianna sees Nott quietly take a piece for herself.

Molly shrugs. “If you didn’t want things to get personal, you shouldn’t have brought my good friends into it. They don’t even mug people anymore. They’re legitimate small business owners now. And they only held us up like two and a half times.”

Calianna’s pretty sure this was always going to end up getting personal.

It’s a quiet Thursday morning, and they’re sitting outside before class starts. Then Fjord arrives.

He’s looking down towards the ground in a deliberate way as he walks towards them. It becomes clear why once he gets closer and looks up at them properly. He’s got a dark bruise smeared across one side of his face.

Beau’s the first to react. “Fjord! What the fuck, man?” She says, jumping up to examine his black eye. A second later Jester has joined her.

“Who was it?” Nott asks, as she tries climbs onto a nearby bin to get a closer look, swearing when her button necklace gets caught on the edge. “Who do we have to kill?”

“Please don’t kill anyone. It’s fine,” Fjord says, stepping back to get a bit of space.

“Are you sure? Because you are starting to sound like a cowboy again,” Caleb tells him.

Fjord clears his throat. “Absolutely. It’s fine. Really. You should see the other guy.”

“And who was the other guy?” Beau asks. When Fjord starts humming and hawing she crosses her arms and says “If you don’t tell us, we’re just going to guess one by one until we beat up the right person.”

“ _No one_ is beating up _anyone_ , alright?” Fjord says, exasperated. “Sabian and I had a bit of a difference of opinion last night. But he looks just as bad as I do.”

“Shit, really?” Beau says. “What happened?”

Fjord sighs. He sits down next to them, tilting his head back to let it bump against the wall behind him.

“I don’t really want to talk about it, alright? He was being an asshole and I didn’t handle it as well as I could have.”

It seems like they’re going to keep pressing, but after a moment of looking at each other and back at him, they let it go.

“Did Vandren find out?” Yasha asks.

“Yeah.” Fjord tells her, closing his eyes properly bask in the feeling of sunshine on his face. “He was pissed.”

There’s another pause, but he doesn’t bother opening his eyes to figure out what they’re doing.

“Would you like to stay at my place for a few days?” Caleb asks. “I’m sure my parents won’t mind if you need some space from Sabian. So long as you don’t touch my cat figurines this time.”

“Caleb, your flat is tiny.” Fjord says, finally looking at them again. “I appreciate the offer, but I really don’t want to impose.”

“You can come stay at mine,” Beau says. “Dairon won’t give a fuck, we can be roomies.”

Jester breaks in excitedly. “No, come to my house, we can have a sleepover.”

Nott’s just about to say something when Yasha shushes everyone. “Fjord knows that he’s welcome at any of our houses if he needs it. We don’t need to crowd him. Besides,” she adds, “He should stay with me and Molly. There’s already so many kids. Desmond and Gustav won’t even notice.”

“It’s fine. I appreciate it, I really do.” Fjord’s sounding suspiciously choked up. “But you don’t need to worry about me.”

“Bullshit,” Beau says. “We’re offering because we care about you. And you don’t get to shut us out after the lecture you gave me last week about not distancing myself. If it’s gonna be easier for you, have a sleep-over somewhere for a couple of nights. If it’s not, then tells us to fuck off. Unless he grounded you or something.”

“I think Vandren would probably appreciate it if Sabian and I gave each other a bit of space. I can call and check, but only if you’re sure you don’t mind.”

“Nah, it’ll be awesome,” Beau says. “We can go on runs together first thing before school!”

Fjord pretends to groan. “Is it too late to change my mind?”

“Yep,” Beau tells him.

The warning bell goes off and they all slowly get to their feet. Jester offers Fjord her hand and pulls him up. “We should go find Caduceus. I don’t have any healing spells prepared at the moment. He forgot one of his books so he went back to his locker to go get it.” She tugs him in the direction of the lockers. “Yasha,” she calls over her shoulder, “Text Molly. Just because he’s off school at the moment doesn’t mean he gets out of being mad on Fjord’s behalf.”

“Never have I ever broken in to Molly’s room on accident,” Caleb says.

“Why are you all ganging up on me?” Beau grumbles, this time she’s the only one to take the forfeit.

Caleb gives her a smile. It’s not the timid kind, but the kind where he pretends he’s not messing with someone. “You started it,” he says. “Plus, Molly said he’d give me ten dollars if I did.”

Beau makes a choked-off noise of betrayal, and Fjord starts loudly lamenting the moral decay of today’s youth.

Yasha leans over to Calianna. “She was visiting me,” she says, “But she climbed in Molly’s window instead. The only reason they’re both still going on about it is because he was getting changed, and Beau reckons she was scarred for life.”

“It was an honest mistake,” Beau says.

“Of course it was!” Molly says to her, way louder than necessary and positively oozing sarcasm. “My room is on the second storey. You had to climb a tree to get in. Yasha’s bedroom is on the ground floor.”

“That too,” Yasha says.

_banned from 5 libraries and counting_

**Tie-leaf-ling**  
I should be in on Monday guys, feeling much better

 **bluebery cupcakes**  
yay!  
oh and heads up we arn’t talking to Essek atm

 **Tie-leaf-ling**  
?

 **Buttonbeard 2: revenge of the buttons  
** fuck that guy

 **pop pop  
** yeah fuck him

 **Tie-leaf-ling**  
???

 **bluebery cupcakes**  
well

 **Frumpkin 4 President**  
No evidence In the chat guys.

 **bluebery cupcakes  
** sorry  
I’ll tell you later   
but also because Valeb’s upset

 **Tie-leaf-ling**  
do we need to defend Caleb’s honour?  
because I’m down

“I can’t believe how much I missed last week,” Molly says. He rummages around in his pocket to pull out a tissue so he can blow his nose again. “Okay, so why aren’t we talking to Essek right now?”

“’Cos he’s being a dick.” Beau says.

“How much of a dick? On a scale of–” Molly cuts himself off to yawn. “I wish I was still in bed.”

“You should have stayed home,” Fjord tells him.

“It’s fine, I’ll just doze through my classes. Why’re we mad?”

“Caleb caught him–” Caduceus hushes Nott for speaking too loudly. She rolls her eyes and loudly whispers instead. “Caleb found out Essek was going to cheat on his English test because he needs a good mark for his uni application and he hates English.”

“It’s the principle of the thing,” Beau says. “It’s not like he’s even that bad. Smug fuck just can’t stand only being average at something.”

“Veth and Beau are angry because of the cheating. Caleb’s upset because part of his plan involved using Caleb without his knowledge. And we’re all mad because he hurt Caleb’s feelings,” Caduceus tells Molly.

“Well, that’s a lot to take in. Are we gonna do anything, or just let him stew?” Molly asks.

“Stew.” Beau says. “At least until he’s convinced us he knows he was being a dick. But Nott was talking about some petty pranking.”

“I’m going to blackmail him into getting therapy,” Caduceus says tranquilly.

“Okay… never have I ever lied about having a boyfriend or a girlfriend,” Caduceus says.

“Or other!” Molly interjects.

“Or other,” Caduceus says, nodding.

Beau and Fjord take a penalty each, both making an effort not to make eye contact with anyone.

Calianna laughs. “Really? Are we talking, like, ‘I have a girlfriend but you wouldn’t know her she goes to another school’ or properly pretending you’re dating so and so?” She asks.

Fjord coughs awkwardly. Beau slumps forward so her face is in Jester’s carpet and groans. “I give up,” she says in a muffled voice.

“Oh,” Caduceus says like something’s just dawned on him. “I’d forgotten about that.”

Caleb pulls Beau up by the back of her shirt. Calianna kind of wants to make a comparison to a mother cat picking up kittens.

Molly leans forward. “I don’t think this is a simple little white lie,” he says. “It’s the first I’m hearing about it though. Do go on.” He’s practically purring, and Beau looks like she’s considering reaching around Caleb so she can strangle him.

“That’s because it was after you were expelled but before we were,” Jester says.

Beau groans again. “Ugh. It’s so embarrassing.”

“So it’s an ‘it’ then?” Molly says. Beau tries to kick him but Caleb gets caught in the crossfire.

Caleb elbows Molly himself and shushes him for good measure.

“Remember how I was sort-of-not-really dating Keg for like a week and a half before we kind of broke up?” Beau says. “It was just after that. My parents were being shitty about it and it was like, 50% to make them shut up, 50% to upset them because they’re racist assholes.” She pauses. “Looking back on it that was kind of a dick move, did I ever say sorry for that?”

“You did. Don’t worry,” Fjord says, which is when Calianna realises that there aren’t two fake dating stories, just one. The idea of Fjord and Beau pretending they want to kiss is so disturbing Calianna has to take a second.

“It was like a month before I moved out anyway,” Beau continues. “And it lasted for about two days before we agreed that it was a horrible mistake.”

“The worst,” Fjord says.

“Exactly.”

“Awful.”

Beau shudders, and then they look at each other and start laughing.

Keg drops her food onto the table, and pulls out a seat. Caleb nods and smiles at her before going back to his own lunch. Fjord and Nott don't even look up from where they’re steadily devouring their food, stealing bits and pieces from each other and squabbling about it.

"Are the others here yet?"

Fjord looks up from where he's trying to put Nott in a headlock to answer. Nott takes the opportunity to elbow him viciously in the gut, she crows triumphantly and steals one of his rice paper rolls while Fjord wheezes pathetically.

"They should be here soon. I just texted Beau to tell her we're in the food court so she’d know where to find us," Caleb says, taking some of Nott's chips while she eats Fjord's food. She doesn't make a move to stop him and Fjord accuses her of playing favourites, which seems pretty obvious to Keg.

Keg's already made it most of the way through her burrito when Beau and Molly do show up.

They sit down, Beau's barely supressing a smirk, but Molly looks agitated.

"'Sup," Beau says. Molly echoes her, sounding disgruntled.

"What's the matter?" Fjord asks.

"Nothing." Molly says, smiling, as he seems to realise that he’s acting out of sorts.

Beau snorts. "He started yelling about the Jedi again."

"I wasn't yelling. And don't look at me like that, I'm right."

Fjord raises his hands. "No one's saying you aren't.”

"The Jedi council is bullshit,” He announces, though to be fair he isn’t yelling, just speaking loud enough that the people at the next table start shooting them dirty looks. “It’s all, let’s pretend we have no emotions because we’re real men and also all emotion is evil for some reason? Like, absolutely no room for considering the type of emotion or how it affects the way you act."

He leans back in his seat dramatically. Keg’s never seen him sit in a non-dramatic manner. “And they’re just so fucking chill with slavery! Like even ignoring everything about Shmi and Tatooine, much like how the Jedi ignore it by the way, they’re just completely willing to accept without question this army of people that have been engineered to be soldiers for them.” He huffs. “Like, ethically speaking, what the fuck? And _that’s_ putting aside the stupidity of not trying to figure out where the clone army came from when there was no war happening yet and they didn’t order it. Which is just, so fucking stupid.”

Fjord pats him on the back. “There, there.”

Molly sighs, loud and over excited. “I just - why are they so obsessed with tradition and sucking their own dicks? Can they not get over themselves for a hot second and notice that most of their ideology is absolute bullshit?”

“I take it you’re not a big fan of the Vulcans then?” Keg asks, because she is an instigator at heart.

“Oh, don’t even get me started on the Vulcans,” Molly says.

“Save some of it for next time, man,” Beau tells Molly. “You passed the point where I don’t make fun of you for nerdy shit about twenty minutes ago.”

“You spent the first half of our trip telling me about language families and whats-you-ma-call-its, proto-words. Don’t stand there calling me nerdy. Nott, can I have a chip?”

Nott narrows her eyes at Molly, and then glances at Fjord. “Sure. One.” Fjord splutters indignantly as Molly triumphantly claims his prize.

"That’s a bit of a pot calling the kettle black, Beauregard. And he's right. The Jedi are like," Caleb raises the pitch of his voice in what Keg think is supposed to be a bad Yoda impression, "'Indoctrinate children we do. We space cops are. Perpetuate toxic masculinity do we.' And ‘in moral absolutism, believe we. We shades of grey, refuse to consider.’"

Molly uses his single chip to point emphatically in Caleb’s direction. “Exactly. You, my friend, Get It.”  
  
  


“I know!” Nott shouts. She sounds excited. “We should play Fuck Marry K-”

Before she can finish her sentence Fjord’s already got his head in his hands and is muttering what sounds suspiciously like “Please not again,” over and over. Beau has leapt across the circle before Nott even finishes to tackle her to the ground and cover her mouth to stop her speaking.

“I’m not going through that again, man,” Beau says. “I thought we agreed after last time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fact that didn't make it into the fic #3: Luc doesn't exist in the time this fic is set, but he does in the hypothetical future. I feel like Veth and Yeza have him pretty young, since that's how it seems to go in canon.


	4. higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

_a god wants us dead and you’re going to find out why_

**Frumpkin 4 President**  
and that is why Minecraft is a very good game and I will not stand for you insulting it  
I apologise for sending 34 very long texts in a row about why Minecraft is extremely good to everyone except Molly because he deserves it.

**Tie-leaf-ling  
** well I apologise for casting aspersions against minecraft  
clearly I was wrong  
I’m big enough to admit it

**pop pop  
** this is a work of art man  
a really nerdy work of art

Yasha's head hits the dining room table with a thud.

"If I have to write one more paragraph on the 'theme of guilt' in Macbeth, I will kill someone," she announces. She lifts her head off the table to drop it back down a few more times for emphasis.

"Same," Beau says, dropping her pen on her workbook to stretch out her hand, "but like, with numbers. I never want to see another differential equation again in my life. I wish Veth was here. She’s way better at this section than me."

“She didn’t want to come,” Jester says. “She’s worried my Mum’s still mad at us for staining the sink when we died Veth’s hair.”

“Is she?” Keg asks, curious. Jester makes a so-so gesture. Keg shrugs and looks back at her work.

"I thought you liked Macbeth?" Molly says.

"Love it." Yasha's voice is still a bit muffled by the table. "But I'm very sick of words. Jester, please throw my book across the room for me."

Jester picks up Yasha’s book and throws it across the room with the gusto of someone who’s been trying unsuccessfully to decipher their own biology notes for the past 40 minutes. Keg has to duck so as not to get hit.

“Sorry!” Jester squeaks. Keg waves her off.

Molly tilts back dangerously in his chair to pick the book up, putting it back on the table for Yasha, and gives her a pat on the head.

“I fucking hate exams.” Yasha says.

“Yeah,” says Keg. She kind of wants to throw her computer across the room too; the PowerPoint she’s reviewing is pretty much useless.

“Do you want us to make you keep working?” Beau asks Yasha, poking her with her pen from across the table.

“No. Give me five minutes.” Yasha doesn’t look up. “I’m going to sleep instead.”

“I’ll put a timer on.” Beau tells her.

“What about a website?”

“Oh, that’s a great idea. That way if anyone googles the Traveler, they’ll be able to find out about him” Beau is telling Jester and Caleb as they walk into their English class.

“Oh, maybe not then. He doesn’t really want new followers, but we need to explain the like, religious principles and awesome miracles and stuff to the followers he already has. Except for me, I already know it all.” Jester says as the three of them reach the table Nila is already sitting at and drop their books.

“He needs to create a cohesive mythology,” Caleb says decisively. “So his followers don’t have raised expectations, and all have a similar idea of what he stands for.”

Jester nods. “Yeah. Maybe a newsletter or something? Like a mailing list.”

“Nice,” Beau says, pulling out her book. “Exclusive. I like it. Hey Nila, how’s it going?”

“Oh, I’m good. What’re you guys up to?”

“You know the Traveler, my god?” Jester asks her, not waiting for her to respond. “Well, it turns out that, technically, he’s not a god.”

“And he needs Jesters help sorting stuff out with his followers because it’s all a mess and he doesn’t know what he’s doing.” Beau adds.

“Plus, Travelercon’s only like a month and a half away.” Jester says. “I think. Maybe it was a month and a half away last week.”

“Why’d he put you in charge?” Nila asks. Even for a god of chaos, putting Jester in charge of mythology creation and event planning seems like a bad idea.

“’Cause I’m his very first believer,” Jester says, “And his favourite of course.”

Nila decides to just give in to the absurdity of it, since it doesn’t look like their teacher’s in a hurry to start class and put an end to this conversation, so she just smiles and nods.

_a god wants us dead and you’re going to find out why_

**bluebery cupcakes**  
haven’t you played minecarft with caleb @yasha?

**Stormlad**  
yeah we have a multiplayer world together  
Caleb’s making a really fancy castle and I go exploring to find different flowers

**Frumpkin 4 President  
** she’s going to use them for the garden

**bluebery cupcakes**  
are thre many types?  
there

**Stormlad  
** so many  
Caleb put a mod on so there would be extra flowers

Essek freezes. Not literally, Beau would note, since he’s into that sort of weird magic. He’s just staring at something across the road from where they’re walking.

Then time slows around them for real. Essek grabs Beau and Caduceus by their arms and drags them behind a skip.

“What the fuck dude?” Beau demands, as Caduceus dusts himself off looking bemused.

Essek shushes her urgently, ducking back down from where he’d been peeked up over the top of the bin. The ridiculously large hat he’s wearing to keep out of the sun flops down with the sudden movement.

“Don’t you fucking shush me. Why’d you pull us down here?”

“I thought saw my brother. Sorry,” Essek says, a little sheepishly. “I didn’t want him to see me.”

“Were you right?” Beau says, crouching up so that she can see over the top of the skip. Caduceus follows her, because he’s a curious fucker too.

“Yes.” Essek tells her, and he rises again to point his brother out for them.

Beau whistles, the dark elf Essek indicates is probably around their age, maybe younger. But even with his back to them as he walks past it’s easy to see he’s way buffer than Essek.

“He looks like a jock,” Beau says, sizing him up, “Is he cool? Because you know we’re always down to start shit if he’s an asshole.”

“No, no! Pease don’t.” Essek slides back down to the ground. “He’s fine, he’s good. I just –”

“Panicked?” Caduceus suggests.

“That.” Essek sighs. “He’s much nicer than me, really. He’s sort of the black sheep of the family. In that he’s not actually a dick.”

“I wouldn’t say – well. Hmm. Okay.” Caduceus says.

“Yeah, no. You’re definitely a dick.” Beau tells him with relish. “But it’s fine, we wouldn’t get along with you otherwise. Nice people make no fucking sense.”

“You like plenty of nice people.” Caduceus says.

“Sure, but most of our friends are assholes.” Caduceus hums in agreement.

“So how come we’re hiding from him if we don’t hate him?”

Now Essek looks properly embarrassed. “Honestly? I panicked. I didn’t expect to see him here.”

“So you decided to hide behind a bin?”

“I didn’t want him to see us,” Essek admits. “He’s going to give me so much shit when he finds out I’ve finally made some friends.”

Beau snorts. “Ouch,” she says. She can’t decide if she’s being sarcastic, or is genuinely hurt that he doesn’t want people knowing they’re friends.

“I didn’t – that’s not what I -” Essek cuts himself off. There’s a look of panic in his eyes as he loses control of the conversation. He clears his throat. “I wasn’t trying to insult you. It’s more that I haven’t exactly had a lot of friends in the past. Before all of you, I mean.” He sounds uncertain, and Caduceus makes a noise of encouragement before he continues. “He’s going to be very… embarrassing when he finds out.”

“He doesn’t go to our school, does he?” Caduceus asks. Essek shakes his head.

“You know Jester’s not going to rest once she finds out you have a secret brother, right?” Beau says.

“It has occured to me, yes.” Essek says. “I should have gotten it out of the way while there were only two of you.” He sighs. “I’m an utter fool.”

“Yup,” Beau says with relish.

“What’s the date?” Jester asks. They’ve taken over Caduceus’ living room to study, and by some miracle, they’re actually focusing for once. Jester’s just finished a biology worksheet and her pen’s poised to scrawl the date at the top. Caduceus is slowly working his way through the chapter he’s supposed to be reading for food studies.

“27th.” Caleb says, not looking up from his page. Veth, Caleb, and Beau have claimed a corner of the room for their complicated maths work. There’s a lot of furious writing and muttering going on, interspersed with the rustling of pages as one of them searches through their notes or the textbook.

“Shit, really?” Beau says.

Caleb hums affirmation as he continues to work. “Friday the 27th.”

Beau groans and puts her pencil down.

“Did you get up to 15b?” Veth asks. “I just gave up. Caleb wouldn’t tell me.”

“Nah, I skipped that one, I’ll go back to it later. I forgot it was the 29th this weekend.”

“You got something on?” Fjord asks her.

“I’m supposed to be going to my parents’. TJ’s having a party for his first birthday. Well,” she grimaces “ _my father_ is having a party for TJ’s birthday. If it’s anything like the parties they threw me it’s gonna suck. I’m only going so that my brother’s not stuck with awful rich adults and their terrible children all night.”

“That sucks, Beau.” Jester says, and Yasha chimes in with her agreement.

“Do you get a plus one?” Caleb asks. “You shouldn’t have to face the wolves alone.”

“I guess. You don’t need to bother, though.” She says.

“Do you actually want to go by yourself?” Fjord asks her. “Because if you’re just trying not to be a bother -”

“Fine! Whatever!” she snaps, then visibly calms herself. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

Everyone’s looking at her now, waiting to see who she asks.

“Shit.” Beau says. “I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it.”

“We could do paper, scissors, rock?” Caducues suggests

That sets into motion an unnecessarily complex tournament. Caleb dictates the arrangement of matches so that everyone has an even chance. Molly and Yasha are knocked out in the semi-finals, leaving Fjord and Veth. They narrow their eyes and start aggressively shaking their fists.

“Paper.” They both call.

“Draw.” Molly announces. “Rematch.”

Veth fumbles the next one and pulls scissors too early.

“Foul. Rematch” Molly says.

They both do scissors this time. Molly calls a rematch again. Veth starts hissing in frustration.

“Rock.” Fjord calls, as Veth says “Scissors.”

Veth swears in halfling as Molly pulls Fjord up by his arm and raises his hand in the air: “Ladies and Gentlefolk, we have our winner.” He does an elaborate bow and Fjord relents and copies him, looking a lot like he’s struggling against the urge to stick his tongue out at Veth.

When Caduceus looks back at Beau, she’s smiling. That’s much better.

**Jester**  
how’d the party go?

**Beau**  
shit  
it was bad but  
it was only like, half as bad as the birthday parties I had  
so now I’m circling back to ‘my parents sucked because I was a shitty kid and now that they’ve got a better kid they actually care’

**Jester**  
oh Beau I’m so sorry  
I promise that isnt true

**Beau  
** on the bright side TJ liked his present.  
yeah  
don’t worrry I’ve got an appointment w my therapist on tues  
me and Fjord are a bit drunk and we’re sitting in repressed silence

**Jester  
** do you want to come over snd steal my mum’s wine?  
we can talk about it  
or not talk about it if you just need a break tonight

**Beau**  
sure  
thanks Jess

_A god wants us dead and you’re going to find out why_

**Frumpkin 4 President**  
oh I nearly forgot  
@Tie-leaf-ling reason 26 Minecraft is The Best: you can tame cats and I have a lot of them

**Tie-leaf-ling**  
I’m soRRY I WAS A FOOL

Essek can’t believe he’s sitting and having tea with _Allura Vysoren_.

And yet here he is, on one of Yussa’s couches eating a scone while Allura, Yussa talk with Caleb and him about the magic they’re studying. They’re on humanoid transmutation at the moment. It’s fascinating, but Essek keeps zoning out because Allura Vysoren is sitting across from him. She’s one of the smartest and most powerful mages in Exandria, he’s read papers she’s written on magical theory. When Caleb had invited Essek to join him today, Essek had leapt at the chance. Though he still hasn’t gotten a satisfactory answer from Caleb as to how he knows her in the first place.

“Well I turned Beauregard and myself into tieflings once.” Caleb is saying when Essek manages to focus again. “But that was very temporary, and I had to concentrate.”

“What?”

Caleb looked a bit embarrassed, “It was mostly to see if I could.” He says. “We were just mucking around.”

“But how did you do it?” Yussa says.

“I… used polymorph.” Caleb says slowly, he’s clearly confused by the line of questioning.

“But - you shouldn’t be able to use polymorph to make someone a tiefling. That spell is for turning people to animals, not other people.”

“Well yes, I suppose in theory. But that’s a rather arbitrary rule, turning the subject into some other creature only needs slight adjustments to the runes.” Caleb says. “I suppose it’s a bit counter-intuitive. I can show you my process if you want, but –” he trails off. “Why are you staring at me?”

While Essek and Yussa stare at Caleb, Allura has pulled a stack of books off Yussa’s shelves, and is now furiously leafing through one.

“I don’t think it’s quite that obvious. At least for most.” Essek tells him. “People have been using polymorph in its modern form for centuries. If it was that simple someone would have made it common knowledge by now.” And then, “Show me your workings.”

In the background Allura is muttering to herself as she reads, scribbling on paper at the same time.

“Did you take down my copy of Melf’s treatise on – here we go.” Yussa says to Allura, pulling a book out of Allura’s pile. “I think I may have read something similar in here. Of course, there are examples from ancient history, but most academics dismiss them as either myths or distorted records of different spells; but I remember reading about a hypothetical discussion of something similar – yes, here it is. He talks about the possibility of adapting polymorph in order to turn into different people, but concludes given other spells like disguise self, and polymorph’s other limitations, without a specific need for such a use there’s not much reason to look into it.”

Essek notes, much to his amusement, that Caleb’s gone a bright, blotched, red. “I really don’t think that it’s anything people haven’t done before.”

“You’re probably right.” Allura says. “I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s more current research available too, but it isn’t widely known at any rate. Why don’t you show us your working? Do you have some more paper – thank you.”

Cassandra doesn’t interact with Caduceus’ friends outside of work much. She’d told Caduceus they could all stay over for the night when he’d asked.

She remembers him when he was much younger. He’d always given as good as he got from various siblings and cousins and so on, he was a pretty odd and lonely child and she’s happy to see him with a group he feels part of.

She’d thought she’d made the right decision. It was a Friday and they’d just finished their exams. When she poked her head in the door after she got home, they’d been behaving. Half of them were sound asleep in a pile. The others content to bicker softly over cartoons, while in the background Caduceus prepared dinner and Fjord tried to help.

Now it’s half past three in the morning, someone has screamed, and several people have started yelling. So, she’s regretting letting eight teenagers stay at her house.

She stumbles out into the living room where, when she’d gone to bed, they’d been arranging their bedding because they wouldn’t all fit in Caduceus’ room. Right now, they’re mostly sitting up in bed. One of them is nothing but a disgruntled mound of bedding. Jester and Molly are clutching each other in what seems to be either terror or glee. And Veth has climbed up onto the back of the sofa waving what Cassandra is _pretty sure_ is a Nerf gun wildly about.

Sitting cross legged on his blanket, holding a mug of tea, is Caduceus. He looks serene, but Cassandra’s pretty sure he’s supressing a smile.

“What,” Cassandra asks, her voice still deep with sleep, “the fuck, Caddy?”

“Sorry.” He says, turning to her as though he expected her to be there, the little shit. “Fjord thought there was a ghost.”

“No. I didn’t.” Fjord says, he seems quite a bit paler than usual. “You were telling freaky stories about grave yards. And then Beau thought she’d get funny.”

“I’m telling you man, It wasn’t me,” Beauregard says, smiling.

“Yes it was. Shut up.”

“I don’t know what you’re so worried about. It’s not like we’re at a place of high spirit activity.” Caduceus interjects. “And most ghosts are fairly uninterested in the living anyway.”

Yasha says something quietly to Fjord, which soothes him a bit. While they’ve been talking to Cassandra the others have calmed down enough to stop yelling.

Some disgruntled Zemnian drifts out from the pile of blankets causing Veth to climb back down from the couch and curls up with the lump that is presumably Caleb.

Cassandra clears her throat. “Alright. Can we worry about the ghost in the morning? You’re going to wake the neighbours up. And please keep it down if you’re going to stay up. I want to sleep.”

She gets a mumbled round of apologies from them all, and a “Sorry Mrs-Caduceus’-cousin” from Beauregard. When she gets back to bed, she sighs, smiles and shakes her head, then closes her eyes again.

_A god wants us dead and you’re going to find out why_

**Darth Veth  
** I lose my phone for two hours and this is what I come back to?  
@mollymauk how dare you bully Caleb  
@mollymauk I hope you’re ashamed of yourself

**Snea Snake  
** we’re all very disappointed in you

**Tie-leaf-ling**  
Ive seen the error of my ways  
I’ve spent the last 50 mins watching minecraft youtube videos  
somebody stop me I’ve got so much chem hw  
I mean I’m not going to do it but I was planing on doing other things to procastrinate

**Wanted on suspicion of tea possession**  
do you’r homework  
*you’re

**Tie-leaf-ling**  
fuck you you’re not my real dad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. We're almost there though, one last chapter to go.  
> chat names:   
> Frumpkin 4 President - Caleb  
> Tie-leaf-ling - Molly  
> pop pop - Beau  
> bluebery cupcakes - Jester  
> Stormlad - Yasha  
> Darth Veth - Veth  
> Snea Snake - Fjord  
> Wanted on suspicion of tea possession - Caduceus  
> background that didn't make it into the fic: the mighty nein met Kiri at their school when she spent a day in their classes because of a mix up in the foster system putting her at the wrong age, they helped her sort it out by being very loud and very outraged.


	5. and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

There’s something _very_ wrong with Jester’s phone. That’s pretty much all that crosses Essek’s mind when Jester’s voice interrupts the music he was playing without warning.

“Essek! How are you? You’ll never guess what just happened. Remember how we were going to borrow Fjord’s Dad’s boat? Well we did, and we-”

“-Jester,” Essek interrupts, “I thought you said you’d fixed your phone.”

“I did.” Jester doesn’t sound especially concerned. “I took it to the shop and they told me it was fixed.”

“No. It still answers automatically when you call.”

“You know, if other people hadn’t complained about it happening too, I’d totally say it was your phone’s fault.”

“It clearly isn’t,” Essek says.

“Yeah.” Jester trails off. “So, do you want to hear about the sea monster?”

Essek looks down at his work. He’d been listening to music while he answered questions and there’s a stark line across the page where he’d dragged his pen when Jester surprised him. He looks out the window and realises it’s gotten dark; he’s been working for hours.

“Alright,” he says. “Sounds exciting. What happened?”

Caduceus’ friends are being _very_ loud in the living room. It looks like they’re playing some sort of board game, one that involves piles of cards, all sorts of little pieces, and a lot of yelling. Cassandra sneaks past, thinking she’ll put some music on and bake something.

It’s only when she gets to the kitchen that she realises she’d miscounted. They’re not all in the living room, because Yasha’s sitting at the kitchen table. Her hands are curled around a mug of tea that she’s staring down into. She startles a little when she hears Cassandra come in, looking up to offer her an awkward smile.

“Everything alright?” Cassandra says.

Yasha nods. “It’s a bit loud out there.” She admits. “I needed to take some time to catch my breath.”

“Well I was going to start some bread going.” Cassandra tells her. “Would you like to give me a hand? Otherwise you can sit in the garden for a bit, it’s lovely out there.”

“I’d like to help make bread.” Yasha says.

Ten minutes later, when Yasha’s kneading dough with surprising ferocity, she’ll smile again, and it fits properly this time. It’s Veth she’s smiling at, who’s come to check on her, and has hoisted herself up to sit on the table next to Yasha. And Cassandra is _so_ glad that all these lost, difficult teenagers found each other.

“My sapphire.” Marion says when her phone picks up Jester’s call immediately. “How are you, my dear?”

“I’m good, Mama.” Jester tells her. She sounds cheerful. She’s never said a word about it directly, but it’s obvious to Marion how much happier Jester’s been since she stopped being home schooled and started going to a school with people her age. It’s been a handful of years now, and Jester’s made so many friends and gotten into so much mischief. It makes Marion proud to watch. “Beau and Nott are coming over tonight, okay? We’re gonna paint our nails and watch something.” There’s a muffled noise in the background, “Fjord says he might come too.”

“That sounds lovely, darling. I’ll make sure that there’s enough dinner for them then.” Marion says, making a note to let the chef know. “I’ve got to go. I’ll speak to you later.”

“Am I interrupting?” Jester asks. “Essek says my phone’s broken again.”

“Just a meeting.” Marion says. She and Bluud are having what could, loosely, be descried as a working lunch. “Bluud says hello.”

“Hi Bluud.” Jester drawls. “Alright I’ve gotta go.” And she hangs up.

“Have fun at fight club.” Molly calls from where he’s watching tv and pretending to do homework as Yasha passes him on her way out of the house.

“It’s not a fight club.” She says.

“Then have fun on your date.”

“It’s not a date either.” Yasha calls before shutting the front door behind her.

The bus there is quiet, which is a relief to Yasha. She’s never enjoyed public transport when it’s crowded, it makes her skin crawl because she feels like she’s being watched. The only other passengers when she gets on are an old man travelling back from shopping, and a dwarf mother with two young children. Yasha pulls a silly face at the little girl who stares up at her, and then walks to the very back and gets out her phone to play mindless games for the rest of the trip.

The gym’s about as busy as it ever is on a Thursday evening when Yasha arrives. She spots Reani easily, stretching in a loose tank top by one of the empty rings.

“Hey.” Yasha drops her water bottle and towel next to Reani’s. “Beau’s sorry she can’t make it. She’s got work.”

“Oh, that’s alright.” Reani says. “I guess we’ll just have to make do.”

Once they’ve finished warming up, they begin. They don’t spar for as long as they usually do when it’s the three of them, but by the time they’re done Yasha’s feeling exquisitely tired, a comfortable soreness settled over her body like an old blanket.

They get oily chips and cheap milkshakes afterwards, talking about whatever crosses their minds.

“Obviously it would have been nice if Beau could come.” Reani says, “but it’s nice just the two of us. I feel like we don’t hang out much.”

Yasha smiles. “It is nice.”

“Hey Yeza, this is Jester. You know, Veth’s friend. Veth said her birthday’s soon. And that we could throw her a party but she didn’t –” Jester pauses for breath, “- want to orgainse it, and I thought since you’re her boyfriend you might want to help out. Plus, you might have some ideas for what -”

“Jester.” Yeza says, feeling bad for interrupting. But he’s met Jester a few times and Yeza knows if he doesn’t say something now, he’s going to get swept away in the tide of chaos and forget all about it. “I think my phone might be broken. It answered your call without ringing first.”

“Oh, don’t worry that’s not you it’s me. Sorry. My phone does that a lot. We can’t figure out why.”

“I’ve never heard of a phone doing that before.” He offers.

“Yeah, I guess it’s a real problem. I’ve interrupted people doing some _pretty_ embarrassing stuff. It’s pretty funny but, like, privacy and stuff you know?” Jester says, not sounding especially apologetic. “Maybe I should just buy a new phone.”

“Just for this?” Yeza says.

He’s about to suggest she take it to a repair shop instead when Jester continues. “I guess not. I mean I already tried replacing my phone once, and it’s still a problem so...” She trails off.

 _Fucking rich people,_ Yeza thinks.

“It probably won’t help then,” He tells her instead, and then, doubtfully, “Maybe it’s something to do with your network?” As they keep talking, eventually drifting back to Jester’s original reason for calling, Yeza can’t stop wondering what the cause is. Maybe Caleb would have an idea, probably not if it’s still broken, but he remembers Veth mentioning him doing some sort of programming course online over the summer. Unless –

Yeza takes a moment to think about what he knows about Caleb, Caleb’s sense of humour, and the sort of humour someone who’s friends with Jester and Veth must have, and considers the chances that Caleb, or one of Jester’s other friends is responsible for this. It’s possible, he decides in the end. But it seems technically difficult for someone in high school, and so long as Jester isn’t too worried about it probably doesn’t matter that much.

They chat for a while, and make plans to meet properly to organise Veth’s party. After they finish and Jester hangs up, Yeza could swear he hears laughter, not Jester, someone lower, and more masculine sounding.

_Yasha and the orphan makers_

**bone fairy  
** The family reunion isn't going as well as I'd hoped

 **pop pop  
** You said you were expecting it to end in a trip to the hospital  
How is it going worse than that

 **Darth Veth-er**  
2 trips to the hospitak

 **bone fairy**  
Just one so far

 **Stormlad**  
Why?

 **bone fairy**  
Clarabell bit me  
Apparently it needs stitches

 **Bjackwards** changed the group chat name to _it has been 0 days since our last trip to the emergency room_

 **Joker (2019)**  
isn't Clarabell like 14?  
that's too old to be biting people

 **bone fairy**  
no one's too old to bite someone  
just too scared  
I tried to bite her back but she's a lot faster than me  
and anyway

 **Fey King (long may he reign)**  
so why's it going worse than expected if you expected this to happen?

 **bone fairy  
** she didn't mean to do it that hard  
I mean I didn't expect it  
I just knew it might  
but also  
Colton and Calliope moved me while I was sleeping so i woke up in a coffin again and it was locked so I had to wait until Corrin came by and let me out  
then someone knocked over an old statue that was a family heirloom and we had to try and fix it before our parents found out

 **pop pop  
** you woke up locked in a coffin AGAIN

 **bone fairy**  
Ywah  
But usually they don't lock it, Calliope was just mad a5 me because her phone died when she fell in the river  
*at

 **Banned for scrambled egg crimes**  
but why was she angry witj you for that?

 **bone fairy**  
because I pushed her in

 **Banned for scrambled egg crimes**  
it's good to know you're just as much an agent of chaos as the rest of us

 **Joker (2019)**  
has your family ever thought of following the Traveler?  
I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharing with the Wikdmother  
*Wikdmother

 **Fey King (long may he reign)**  
did you fix the statue in time?

 **Joker (2019)**  
*Wildmother

 **bone fairy**  
no  
on the bright side Calliope loved the flute I gave her

 **Bjackwards  
** oh thank the Gods  
you finally got rid of that thing

 **Banned for scrambled egg crimes**  
not the bone flute : (

 **bone fairy**  
?  
I bought 2

“Kiri!” Jester says, as soon as Kiri’s mum hands the phone over.

“Jester!” Kiri responds in Jester’s voice.

Jester laughs. “Tell you mum I’m sorry about the call not ringing first. There’s something wrong with my phone but we can’t figure out what.”

“Tell your mum I’m sorry.” Kiri repeats. Gilda smiles at her, and waves Kiri away to let her know she can go and talk to her friend.

“Are you excited for our trip on the weekend?” Jester says. “We’re all looking forward to it so much.”

“So much!” Kiri says.

“It’s Caleb’s turn to choose so we’re taking you to the museum.”

“Dinosaurs and bugs.” Kiri says in Layla’s voice.

“Is that what your sister says is at the museum?” Jester asks. “She’s right. Caleb says there’s a tiny model of the Dawnfather’s temple in Rexxentrum too. If you push a button it lights up and everything. And there’s some cool pictures of the world being made. Did you know that the whole world used to be made of lava?”

Kiri makes the sound of a volcano exploding from the movie she watched last week.

“Exactly.” Jester says. “It’s going to be a-maz-ing.”

Veth’s hand is squeezing Yeza’s tightly. She’s wearing at least four of her homemade button necklaces, and a bright yellow dress that the weather’s only just warm enough for. They’ve just left the movie theatre, and when she catches him looking, Veth smiles at him. There’s a smudge of chocolate near her mouth from the snacks they ate during the movie, and she’s beaming. It’s easily one of the best dates he’s been on, notwithstanding –

“Hey Yeza, you were right man, that was a great movie.” Beau says, catching up with them to nudge him companionably. “That chick with the short hair was super-hot.”

Caleb humms in agreement and Beau makes a face and turns around to mutter “You can’t have the same taste as me, dude. It’s weird. I said it first.”

“They all looked so cool.” Jester says. “Do you think I could wear clothes like that?” Beau and Fjord both rush to tell her that yes, of course, she’d look so great. To Yeza’s other side, Yasha’s telling Veth and Caduceus about her favourite scene.

Then Veth starts talking about explosions and Beau and Jester get _very_ excited. They’re doing full on explosion sounds, miming things blowing up with their hands. Molly snorts and hangs an arm around Caduceus’s shoulders. Caduceus is much taller than him so it’s a struggle, but Molly manages to make it look natural. “This is going to be like Fluffernutter all over again.”

“You weren’t even there for Fluffernutter.” Caleb says, looking unimpressed.

“And yet I was still traumatised by it. My point exactly.”

They all continue to yammer on, and Yeza lets himself get drawn into a debate about one of the characters in which no one has any particular stakes, and they’re all just arguing for the sake of arguing.

Honestly, he doesn’t really care that his and Veth’s date got hijacked by her friends. It’s nice to get to know them better. He and Veth have made new plans for Sunday anyway, and when they first said they’d come along Veth had told him she wasn’t gonna let her friends foil her plans, and they’d ditch the others after the movie to go make out. That sounds pretty good to Yeza, but so does finding a park to sit in, like Caduceus is suggesting, or getting something to eat, because Molly’s complaining about being hungry.

“45 minutes.” Veth says in halfling to him. “Then we’re ditching them so I can kiss you as much as I want.”

“Gross.” Beau says. “You know I speak halfling.” Which Yeza hadn’t. Yasha chuckles, and amidst it all, Veth looks at him again, and smiles.

“Hey Orly,” Jester’s voice trills. Somehow his phone has turned itself onto speaker even though Orly hasn’t touched it to accept the call. “How’s it going? I feel like we haven’t spoken in forever. Anyway, I‘ve got some designs I thought you might like for tattooing.”

“Hey J-Jester.” Orly says. “Your phone’s still b-b-busted.”

“Oh, I know.” Jester says. “We figured it out. Turns out the Traveler blessed my phone so I could cause more chaos.” Gallan stops wincing at Orly’s tattoo gun on his arm to share an exasperated look with Orly.

Orly just chuckles quietly. “W-well that’s nice. You should s-s-stop by, and show me your d-designs.” Jester agrees and they arrange a time for her to drop in. She’s a good kid, Orly met her because he’s old friends with Vandren, and one of Vandren’s foster kids had a couple of friends over when Orly was catching up with him. She’d made him pinkie promise that he’d teach her how to tattoo once she’s old enough, and in the meantime every once in a while, she’ll send him a work she thinks he might use.

She stays on the call for a bit, chatting about whatever crosses her mind. Orly doesn’t speak much, too focused on his work, but Gallan lets Jester’s chaos distract him from his arm.

It’s at least three thirty in the morning. It might be later, Molly isn’t sure, he hasn’t checked the time in a while. Caleb and Yasha are leaning on each other, nearly asleep. This is because they are – and Molly means this with all the love and respect in the world – weak. He’s lying across both their laps though, and one of them is stroking his hair, so he’s decided to forgive them. Someone put Hozier on a while ago and if Molly’s not careful he’s going to start crying about To Noise Making. They’ve only got a few more days until the holidays end and classes start again, so they’re making the most of it.

Jester’s bedroom, which looks very large and cool and colourful in daylight, would probably be a bit creepy in the dark if there weren’t seven other people in it with him. That weird Fjord bust Jester made as a decoy when they’d been up to no good in the middle of the night and he’d had to sneak out is staring at Molly from Jester’s Shelf of Cursed Art Projects. Veth was the one who came up with that name, but Caleb says since they started calling it that, the Traveler has actually cursed it. Molly can’t tell if he’s joking or not, because Caleb’s has mastered his poker face.

Jester’s hanging upside-down off her bed, reading E.E. Cummings from a book to Caduceus and Fjord in a silly voice. She’s definitely skimming through to find the horny ones, but every once in a while, she says “Oh, this one’s really sweet you guys,” or “This is clever,” and reads one that isn’t about sex.

Beau and Veth are lying in the far corner of the room. They’re talking quietly instead of shouting, so Molly’s pretty sure they’re having a properly deep conversation. For some reason they’ve both pushed their legs up so they’re against the wall, as if they’re sitting up but gravity is going the wrong way, which looks way harder less comfortable than just lying normally.

Jester pauses, leafing through her book, just in time for Beau to say, probably a fair bit louder than she meant to, “Well fuck them, anyway. Just you wait, one day I’m going to be like, head librarian or something. And I’ll have a big fucking house and we’ll all live in it together, and we’ll all get on each other’s nerves but it’ll be great. Me and Jessie’ll have bunk beds, and Caduceus will rule over the garden but we’ll make Yasha a window box for flowers, and we’ll have like, a whole room for of books. Fuck my parents, you guys are my fucking family.”

They all stop what they’re doing to think about that, Caleb and Yasha jerking back to being fully awake.

“That sounds really nice Beau.” Jester says. Yasha hums her agreement.

“Yeah.” Says Fjord, a little reverently.

Caleb blinks sluggishly. “I don’t think librarians are paid well enough for big fucking houses.” He says. “We’ll have to rely on Jester’s mum buying her a house. Or her father, I suppose.”

“I don’t want to live in a house brought by a mob boss.” Fjord says.

Jester smacks him with her book. “He’s not actually a crime lord.”

“Then prove it.” Veth says.

The others let themselves get drawn into bickering, but Molly’s stuck on the mental image Beau painted. He can see it so clearly. Jester’s going to keep doing art, and she’s gonna take the world by storm. Beau, Caleb, and Veth are gonna get fancy degrees, and the rest of them will probably get regular degrees. Maybe Caduceus or Jester will become a doctor, they’ve both talked about it before, in the vague _I-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing-with-my-life-yet_ kind of way. Yasha’s going to fill a whole wall of books with the flowers she presses. Fjord’s going to move out of Vandren’s and find himself a shitty apartment with weird roommates, and figure out who he wants to be, a sailor or a priest or a whatever-the-fuck. And Molly’s going to be there with them.

It doesn’t even matter if he’s wrong, if none of them ever speak again after high school (fat fucking chance), because right now, it’s true, and their shared future is real. There’s something stuck in his throat, and Molly thinks it might be yearning. He wants it so badly he can taste it.

“Are you crying?” Beau asks him.

“Maybe,” he says. “It’s four in the morning, what better time to get emotional about friends? Besides, you’re the one who was saying all that sappy shit, _I_ was only thinking it.”

He thinks she’s going to throw something at him for being emotional, but when he bothers to crack an eye open again, she’s just staring at him with a wistful smile. He pokes his tongue then smiles back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done! It took me awhile but I got there.  
> I borrowed a couple of ideas for this chapter from another critical role modern au, it's Essek centric and it's called you must like me for me by idontreallylikebutterflies at https://archiveofourown.org/works/23399344. The ideas were Jester's phone being broken in a way that reflects the message spell, and the might nein living together when they grow up (I know they have a house in canon but I didn't think of it for this fic until I read this au a few months ago).  
> final tidbit that didn't make it into the fic: despite what Fjord says the gentleman isn’t a crime lord, he just sold his soul to big business.

**Author's Note:**

> A tidbit that didn't make it into the fic: Desmond and Gustav aren't romantically involved, they're close friends and they both wanted to give kids in the system a safe foster home so that's what they do.


End file.
